Why Does the Toyota Camry Suck so Much?

"Gpivovarov" (Gpivovarov) 08/17/2013 at 11:48 • Filed to: Camry

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I never liked marshmallows as a kid. Or waffles. Or maple syrup. Now that’s weird. Most kids love marshmallows in their s'mores, but I just had graham cracker chocolate sandwiches. While they were smearing their waffles with maple syrup, I had a bowl a cereal. Now it's not like these are some unforgivable crimes, but whenever I told somebody about my tastes, they seemed appalled. " What?! But everybody loves waffles! They're the best!".

And so, in similar fashion, and as if to purposefully piss off half the world, I present to you today's topic - I Hate the Toyota Camry. Now if you're one of the 400,000+ people who purchased one last year alone , don't start calling up your Camry buddies for an angry mob just yet. I mean, over the years, there have been millions of Camrys sold, so those people can't ALL be wrong. It's not like the Camry is a slobbering, vomiting ape, it's a fine car. But thats the problem, it's just fine.

Whats the point? Why go through all the trouble of designing, engineering, and building a car for the masses if you’re going to make it just fine? Engineering should be the expression of all things wonderful, pushing the envelope on every innovation, however I’m afraid the Camry has done minimal envelope pushing in its 31 years of existence. But enough with the jibber jabber, lets get to the criticisms -

The current styling is okay, a lazy line here and a fake front splitter there make it look almost aggressive, but the smile's too gaping, there's too much junk in the trunk, and the roof is confused between sloping like a coupe or angling down like the Audi Quattro.

The range of colors consists of some slightly stained iterations of the color beige. It screams "I enjoy spending my days cleaning my dentures".

The interior, again, is fine, theres nothing wrong with it, its an average collection of cloth, leather, buttons, and fake wood, but its boring. Where are the neon lights or cool buttons? Where's the ejector seat? I demand innovation!

The ride is immensely wobbly, almost uncontrollable. At speed it's genuinely not a pleasant experience.

The visibility is minimal (A complaint received from my aunt, who drives a 2011 Camry). The C-Pillar is humongous, cutting away a considerable chunk of rear visibility.

But the worst thing, by far, is the brakes. Mr. Clarkson, I see your criticism of the Merc SLR’s brakes and raise you the braking system on a Camry - You're driving along, all is well, and you come across a red light. You press down a little, expecting to slow, but nothing happens. You then press a little harder, thinking maybe the brakes just take a while to engage, still nothing. You’re getting worried now, and awfully close to the car in front. Still nothing. You’re freaking out now, pressing even harder and- BOOM, you’ve come to a complete stop and your trousers need to be changed immediately. Now I don’t know about you but all that sounds awfully exhausting.

So Toyota, I implore you, over the years you’ve built some excellent cars, you know what you’re doing, so please put a little more effort into the Camry. I hate it, I hate sitting in it, looking at it, and driving it. So go crazy, change it, make it an exciting mid-size sedan that people would want to buy, not just default to.

Clown Shoe Pilot > Gpivovarov 08/17/2013 at 11:53

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I don't like maple syrup either. I do like marshmallows though, and I enjoy a good Belgian waffle now and again.

Gpivovarov > Clown Shoe Pilot 08/17/2013 at 11:54

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Maybe it's because the only waffles I ate were summer camp waffles. Delicious.

dogisbadob > Gpivovarov 08/17/2013 at 12:19

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The Camry peaked 20 years ago, 1992-1996. They just don't make them like they used to. Not even Toyota.

The new Camry's styling reminds me of the Dodge Monaco/Eagle Premier.

Poor visibility is in just about every new car, and GM is one of the most egregious offenders. Tiny windows suck! The Kia Rondo is the only real exception, but it's not sold down here anymore!

No manual transmission anymore isn't cool, either. A Camry XRS would be nice though. AWD, turbo 4, kind of like the old Mazdaspeed 6 but with legendary Toyota quality!

Nibby > Gpivovarov 08/17/2013 at 12:21

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You need to drive the SE edition.

It is amazing! GROUNDED TO THE GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gpivovarov > dogisbadob 08/17/2013 at 12:51

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Agreed, they could get away with having a boring base car if they made a fast one too.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Gpivovarov 08/17/2013 at 13:32

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That's exactly how I feel about many Toyotas, the Prius especially.

Buying something like that means you are not original. You had all these choices, such as the Accord, Passat, Fusion, Altima, 6, and Cruze (to name a few) but you went with the Toyota. Its just a safe, boring bet. Nothing about it stands out. Nothing makes it better than anything else. It just exists.

Fuel_of_Satan > Gpivovarov 08/20/2013 at 03:47

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You already touched upon what makes the Camry terrible: It's not bad. It's fine. Average. Bland.

Essentially it has no redeeming features, its just a car. When it came time to design the Camry no one became passionate about it and started creating the best car they could make.

TheMadSciontist > Gpivovarov 08/20/2013 at 09:55

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Have you seen the ad for the Camry, the one where Camrys drive around their own floating islands in white space? The one takeaway I got from this commercial is "bodyroll". You see it when the car is circling its personal oval, but even more prominently when each model is brought forward on an invisible platter, with rocking and swaying that would appeal to Captain Ahab.

By reading your review, it sounds like the marketing firm understood the term "truth in advertising".

OtizzleStarBai > Gpivovarov 08/20/2013 at 10:46

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Peaked in 96 is damn right..

This car has been the definition of horrible-ness since then...

No 400k people can't be wrong...but i still can't for the life of me figure out why ANYONE would under ANY circumstance buy one of these new.

Hiwa > Gpivovarov 08/17/2016 at 16:00

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Man you are 100% right about the brakes they are awful, three weeks ago I drove a 2012 camry sport and man there was nothing special about it the cabin noise was average not very good, and I was flooring it most of the times and it felt slow. The only good thing about this car is suspension which it was very comfy for a sport edition LoL.... but man again those brakes are weird when you pressed it the car slow down a little, you pushed more and boom stops immediatly giving you an heart attack .....

To be honest its just an okay car, reliable, roomy enough, comfortable ride and personaly if I ever one day decided to buy one my only reason it will be the reliabilty of the car nothing else.